The Ascension is coming. We have been living in the Resurrection for forty days now. We have grown used to having the risen Christ with us as proof and triumph. We want him right here where we can see him and touch him and trust him completely.

Instead, a new paradox begins. He promises to be with us until the end of the age, but he must also ascend to the Father, leaving us behind. My childish anxieties emerge and I feel my fingers grasping for control in these verses that conclude each gospel account.

Wait! Where are you going?

Are you coming back?

Can I come with you?

I turned to my evening prayer book last night and found the comfort and peace Jesus is trying to bestow through my loud and insecure questions:

May 15~

Do you need Me? I am there. You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by. You cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice. You cannot feel Me, yet I am the power at work in your hands. I am at work, though you do not understand My ways. I am at work, though you do not recognize My works. I am not strange visions. I am not mysteries. Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me as I am, and then but as a feeling and a faith.

Yet I am there. Yet I am here. Yet I answer.

When you need Me, I am here. Even if you deny Me, I am there. Even when you feel most alone, I am there. Even in your fears, I am there. Even in your pain, I am there. I am there when you pray and when you do not pray. Though your faith in Me is unsure, My faith in you never wavers, because I know you, because I love you.

Beloved, I am there.

- James Dillet Freeman

Oh. I still don't get it - I don't understand how Jesus can physiologically be with the Father and with me until the end of the age, but I do know that he always keeps his promises. I do know that the Father sends the Spirit in Jesus' name and I do know that Jesus repeatedly bestowed peace before ascending. Maybe, instead of trying to figure out how it works, I could trust the peace that comes from God's promised presence.

The Ascension is the end of the gospels, but it's also the beginning of Acts and the Epistles. It's the end of Jesus' physical ministry on earth and the beginning of Christian vocation and proclamation and the Church.

Trust the peace. Pass the peace. Read Acts. This is only the beginning.